YK Drasha Bennett

Good Shabbos and Shavua tova.

When Rabbi Alpert asked me to speak about “community,” I thought about how, when I was 9 years old, my father took me along when he asked our rabbi a question:  “It says in the Bible that Cain killed Abel, then it says he went and got married.  Who did he marry?”  This was my father’s Big Question (with a capital “Q”) that he asked of many rabbis. The responses they gave him, and especially what I witnessed that day, was so offensive, so inappropriate, that it changed my perception of Jewish communities for nearly 50 years.

There are many Jewish communities.  Every shul, Jewish neighborhood, city, political organization, school, etc. has a different Jewish community.  And the way I assess a community is by how its spokespeople treat individuals.

The rabbi listened, gave a phony laugh, and said “You sure know how to ask a tough question.” He then said, “Oh, there is someone around here that I have to talk to, and he is important.”  You can imagine how my father felt.  I think everyone here has had the experience of feeling frustrated, betrayed, diminished, or humiliated by someone else.

My father was a Holocaust survivor.  When he came to the United States, he knew that most people wouldn’t believe, or couldn’t tolerate, hearing about the camps.  But he wanted to talk to a rabbi about his religious questions.  So he came up with something that he thought would be a challenging Torah question.  For my father, his question opened the way for discussion about justice.  How could a murderer get off and end up with a family and a long life?  He figured that any rabbi who could discuss these questions could perhaps be someone who my father could talk to.  

Obviously, this rabbi was not such a person.  But how many of us have been like him?  We think of ourselves as kind, well-meaning, good people, but when faced with something that we can’t easily fix or answer, something unfamiliar, how many of us feel threatened or overwhelmed?  And when that happens, we fixate on ourselves.  We try to give pat answers, change the topic, emotionally retreat, or run away – anything to avoid that discomfort.

A classic rabbinic text, Nefesh Hachayim, asks the same question as my father and gives ancient advice: a line from psalms (89:3):  “Olam Chesed Yibaneh” – “Kindness builds the world.”  This is stated along with the fact that people have to do what their circumstances demand.  

Put another way, there are simple questions, such as:  “Do we say this prayer, or that one?” or  “What time do we light candles?”  Then there are profound questions.  Questions about justice.  Questions about suffering.  Questions for which there are no answers, but they must be asked anyway.  How should we respond to such questions?  “Olam Chesed Yibaneh” – “Kindness builds the world.”  

When someone comes with a difficult or challenging question, the response is to, first and foremost, treat the person with respect and kindness, and understand their circumstances.  This should be the moral foundation of Jewish community according to the Torah.  “Be kind to the orphan, widow, and stranger . . .” is the most-repeated line in all of Torah. We are supposed to create communities in which we consider the needs of others, in which we see their talents, in which we take responsibility, and in which we demand responsibility from each other.

You have great power to impact your community.  Look at “Bet Shalom” – literally, a house of peace, a house of wholeness.  Like in a home, everyone here is actively creating our “family,” our community. It is alive, vibrant, and changing.  Every single person here is creating, and continuously re-creating, this community.  The fact that you are here is affecting someone near you, someone who may glance in your direction, or someone who might talk to you.  

This then is the question – and in a way, it is a primary question Yom Kippur asks of us – what type of community, what type of relationships do you want?  What did you create this last year?  What community will you create this next year?  Will it be based on “Olam Chesed Yibaneh” – Kindness that creates worlds  – or on something else?

Shana tova . G’mar Chatimah Tova.